Cellular Saturation

Have you noticed that people whose cell phones feature quiet, "excuse-me" ring-tones have a tendency to answer their phones quickly and in a somewhat embarrassed manner when someone calls them while they are amongst other people in a public space? If so (or even if you haven't noticed that), have you also noticed that people who choose loud, ostentatious, rather annoying ring-tones for their cell phones have a tendency to answer calls in such a lackluster and astonishingly slow manner while in a public space that one might think their drink (or food, or whatever) had been inadvertently spiked with alarmingly enormous doses of emergency room anesthetics?

The latter scenario happened while I was at a coffee shop this evening. A woman's phone "rang" for about thirty seconds before she answered it (doesn't it have a voicemail option?), which is annoying in and of itself. Yet the phone rang so loudly, consistently, and screechingly that it seemed as though the entire London Symphony Orchestra was told in no uncertain terms that in order to save their pensions they would inexplicably have to play a musical rendition of the storming of Iwo Jima capable of being heard clearly from the inside of 1960s-era reinforced bomb shelters several hundred miles away. (I know I mixed my eras just then; I'm just going with the flow on this subject.)

I believe that my ears rang temporarily as a result, though I can't be sure because the ringing may have come from any of a number of nearby fire alarms accidentally set-off by someone crashing into one, due to having been startled by the unexpected assault on her or his eardrums. (A young lady sitting nearby made the very sensible decision of fleeing to the bathroom during the auditory assault.)

Please choose a less psychotic ring-tone and answer your phone quickly, madame. Better yet, turn off your cell phone for a little while, if any part of you feels as though you can survive such a "drastic" course of action.