"Minnesota Nice"? Nah, It's More Like "Minnesota Idiosyncratic."

We Minnesotans are supposed to be particularly "nice" people, or at least that's what I'm told (somewhat endlessly) by...my fellow Minnesotans. Given that we also pride ourselves on what is oftened termed our "Midwestern humility," this "niceness" assertion seems odd in that it suggests we "humble people" enjoy patting ourselves on the back about this particular trait--though we would probably suggest that we are simply "stating a fact."

And, oh, do we ever like to let ourselves know about our "niceness": people toss it about in an off-handed manner during conversations on a regular basis, and it's stated as a "fact" in local television and radio commercials. (In the Twin Cities, it's right up there with E=mc2.) There was even a reminder just the other week in the local paper that we are either #2 or #3 in the country on the "niceness" scale, according to some national study or other. (The writer seemed somewhat miffed to learn that apparently North Dakotans are slightly "nicer.")

But I wonder what criteria that study used to determine "niceness," which has always seemed a very nebulous (and therefore suspicious) term to me. What were they looking for, exactly? And, following that line of questioning, what does "niceness" even mean?

I bring all of this up because today I was reminded by yet another non-Minnesotan who has lived in the Twin Cities for quite some time that, "People here are immediately nice to you when you pass them on the street or see them in the shops. It's disarming. But they are also very difficult to get to know, beyond the smiles and kind greetings."

I don't write this to anger unduly my fellow Minnesotans, but rather because I have heard this same sentiment uttered countless times by folks from outside of the state who have come to live and work in Minnesota. For my part, as a former American expatriate, I found readjustment to Minnesota a somewhat difficult process because I, too, had to negotiate this rather odd cultural idiosyncracy.

In most places I've been to--both inside and outside of the United States--people are somewhat taciturn when they pass you in the street, but are quite gregarious when they meet you in, say, a pub or related setting; they are quite willing to meet new people and start new lines of communication in such settings. Friendships between people from different cultural backgrounds often spring from such interactions.

In Minnesota, however, the opposite often seems to be the case in that people are immediately friendly when they meet you on the sidewalks, or out in front of their houses, and the like, yet in a pub environment (or any of a number of social settings) they either talk almost exclusively amongst their peer group or watch the television and avoid eye contact with strangers. (The first two individuals I made friends with upon my return to Minnesota were both British expatriates living in the Twin Cities, probably because they sought-out conversations with whomever wished to converse in such social settings.)

Again, I don't mean to crap on my home state--I was born and raised in the Twin Cities, after all--but I find this notion of the "nice" nature of Minnesotans to be suspect in that it suggests a magnanimous cultural sophistication that might very well be inherent to the state, but if so it is often offset or even overridden by a rather insular clannishness on the part of a large percentage of the population. The suggestion seems to be that we Minnesotans like "outsiders" (domestic and foreign)--by which we apparently mean those who are either "from elsewhere" or "moved elsewhere" for a considerable length of time but have returned home--but are not particularly keen on getting to know them well, even if they live next door. Or perhaps it's just that, given our somewhat Scandinavian cultural background, we're simply not sure how to get to know them, which would be easier for me to accept emotionally because it suggests that we are not particularly equipped for such scenarios and instead excel in other areas.

Minnesota has a generally strong economy and features an unquestionably high quality of life, so there is a lot to recommend it. But I tire of Twin Citians suggesting that we're "worldly" and "culturally sophisticated" and then reciting the same half-dozen or so talking-points in order to back-up their assertions. (If I hear one more time how "...we have more theater seats per person than any other metro area in America except New York City," I might throttle the person saying it...or perhaps I'll throttle myself so that I needn't hear it again.) Whenever people start doing that on a mass scale, they immediately undercut the argument they are making, because the last thing that genuinely worldly, sophisticated people would do is recite the local handbook (so to speak).

I come back to my original point: if we're so "nice," how come so many people from outside of the area find it so difficult to create lasting friendships here? They will, however, receive a smile and a friendly "hello" on the street, so....

Is Minnesota a good place to live? Yes, and I would never for a moment suggest otherwise. Is it "nice"? By my definition, I'm not so sure. If we are truly worldly, sophisiticated people, we would stop repeating the party line and instead examine our shortcomings, both internally and verbally, in order to improve them. That's what truly sophisticated people tend to do, because they know that admitting one's shortcomings is the first step toward self-improvement. Who knows? Maybe such a proactive mindset could lead folks to start interesting conversations in certain social settings....